Being Satisfied With ME

For he satisfies the longing soul; and the hungry soul he fills with good things. 

Psalms 107:9

"I am satisfied. I am satisfied. I am satisfied."

I find myself repeating those words a lot to myself. I don't feel satisfied. I look at other people with their beautiful lives. They have what I want (whatever it might be): great friends, a great spouse/significant other, a new house, a new car, an RV, etc. 

I had a great talk this weekend with a friend when I was in Arkansas for a wedding this weekend. Why are we not satisfied? Why do we look at others and always think that their lives are better, their stuff is better, their relationships are better? Is this human nature? Something that is reinforced by all the "picture perfect" moments of others' lives on Facebook and Instagram? Something we should blindly accept as the norm? 

I think that might be the problem. I have accepted it as the norm. I'm not dumb. I think I know what other people see in my life and want: my job, my adventures traveling and Zorro, of course. I know these are the things that people see and say "oh man, I want to do that" or "I am so jealous of you." I believe that these comments reflect a deeper want to have what others have.

Let me, in all honesty, tell you some things that I covet about others: relationships with friends (you know me, I love people! Traveling is hard to maintain old relationships and build deep meaningful new ones), a significant other (we all want one, even if we say we don't ;)), a new car (oh I love that new car smell), a house (old or new), travels that my other friends go on, and the list (I'm sure) can go on and on! 

I have not only decided to be happy in my circumstances (I have been working on that since W. Mass), but I have decided to be happy for others in their own circumstances. Not being jealous and sad about what others have and do. Now that doesn't mean I am not human... but it is something that I consciously want to do. Look at my friend with her new house and be HAPPY for her and not the LEAST bit envious. Or look at my other friend with the beautiful new Lexus SUV and be HAPPY for her and not envious. 

This envy thing, I have accepted. It is just something that I have deemed normal in my life. I walk into my friends house and I say "I am so happy for you!" but in my true heart I am happy but I am also sad and envious: "why can't I have a house?" "why do I have to pay these ridiculous student loans instead of saving for a downpayment?" THIS NEEDS TO STOP!! As a Christian I have an obligation to not covet. To not be envious. To be happy in my circumstances. To allow God and his blessings (physical and spiritual) to be ENOUGH. And to be be happy when my other friends and family are blessed with things that I don't have. 

Pray for me! I'm working on it! :)