Self-Reflections as I Journey

Self-Reflections

I have worked on developing my skills of self reflection. It has slowly become one of the most rewarding skills of me as a traveler and also one the most frightening. When you reflect on yourself you find your weaknesses, your fears, your self-doubts. But if you continue explore you also get to find your improvements, achievements, and strengths.

"Self-reflection is a humbling process. It's essential to find out why you think, say, and do certain things... then better yourself." - Sonya Teclai

I have completed hours of self-reflection this past year as a traveler, some purposeful and some by happenstance. I have read books, completed courses and spent time asking myself some important questions. During the past year, I have made time to eat healthier, read more, live fuller, live more purposeful and travel more. I have also learned to deal with my own anxiety, stress and fear in different heathier ways.


The traveling life is not for everyone, but it is for me.  

God has not promised skies always blue, flower strewn pathways all our lives through. God has not promised sun without rain, peace without sorrow, joy without pain. But God has promised strength as our day. Rest when we labor. Light on the way. Grace for our trials, help from above. Unfading kindness, undying love. -- Hymn by Annie Johnson Smith

Why do I travel? Most people do it for the money, which is good. Some people do it for the experience of traveling, which is great. And some people do it for the growth that it gives you as a person, which is wonderful. That is why I travel. To learn about myself, to learn about others and to learn about how to continue to improve myself.


Before traveling, I was in a R-U-T, rut. And it was bad. I was 40-50 pounds over weight. Stressed over things that shouldn't be stressful. I was frustrated with my job. I was tired all the time and slept most of the time. I watched too much TV. I didn't exercise or eat healthy. I was discouraged and angry. I was stressed to the max and honestly really depressed. 


10 "Signs you are in a Rut" (Psychology Today)
-Day to day, you don't look forward to much (other than maybe sleeping or just getting through whatever you're doing).
-You'd like to get your creative juices flowing, but it seems someone left an empty juice bottle in the fridge.
-Even though you keeping checking things off your to do list, it doesn't feel like you are getting much done.
-Your days all blur together, and it's not weird to look up blinking and ask, "Is this Tuesday or Thursday?"
-By the time you get "free time" you are too tired to do something interesting with it or are just plain unmotivated.
-If you answered "How are you?" genuinely, you'd say something like, "Meh."
-You fantasize about getting away (and not just away on vacation).
-You'd like to add something new to your life, but you're sure that you'll never have enough time and/or energy for it.
-You're getting sick of hearing yourself complain about feeling stressed, tired, and unfulfilled.
-Even though you think you'd be happier if you made a change, it's more comforting to stay the same and mope around about it.



Don't worry. Things are getting better, but honestly I have a long way to go. I have shed about 30-35 lbs. and am now at a healthy BMI. I try to take time to self reflect daily and study the bible or read an inspirational text.  I spend more time with family. But, I am not perfect. I still struggle to work out. I still struggle to not be introverted and anti-social all the time. I struggle with being consistent-- with anything. But I'm improving and will continue to improve.


I needed a wakeup call, and traveling was that for me. I needed something to help me rely on God, take a risk and do something so outside of my comfort zone. I have found the importance of taking time for yourself. To bask in being alone and finding fulfillment in yourself and in God. I think some many times we get into a routine and then life becomes a routine. You do the same thing over and over again and are never improving, changing and growing. Traveling has been a blessing in that there are no routines to have. As soon as you plant your feet and figure out where you are, you are swept off to another place. That is what traveling is to me, and I love it.  

“A man must find time for himself. Time is what we spend our lives with. If we are not careful we find others spending it for us. . . . It is necessary now and then for a man to go away by himself and experience loneliness; to sit on a rock in the forest and to ask of himself, 'Who am I, and where have I been, and where am I going?' . . . If one is not careful, one allows diversions to take up one's time—the stuff of life.”
                                                                                            ― Carl Sandburg

The Journey of Traveling

I grew up with three brothers, so needless to say I have watched Lord of the Rings trilogy more than once. Extended versions people. Sometimes I like to imagine my traveling life as a journey. I have been given a quest... but not to destroy a ring. So, what is my quest in life?

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Well I think that is partially our decision, partially God's and partially how circumstances and our choices point us as we go. Right now my personal quest is become healthier, to help people, and to develop a deeper relationship with God.

"It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”

Your quest doesn't have an end. It just changes and morphs depending on your values and how willing you are to change in the moment to improve yourself and serve those around you.

“Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.”

Remember on your quest, that it isn't about the recognition. It isn't even about the visible results. It might not even be about results at all. It might just be about the journey, the struggle and the people you meet and impact a long the way.

“Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.”

Don't let time waste away. Don't let your job, your circumstances, your choices build a figurative cage that hides you behind bars and keeps you from doing the things that are you called to do. Don't be in that cage until you are led to believe that you didn't important things to do in the first place.
“’What do you fear, lady?’ he asked. ‘A cage,’ she said, ‘To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.”

Remember:

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door…You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

*Both of these pictures are from Cayman where I had the opportunity to travel this summer.