Discovering Yourself In Crisis

Sometimes, when life seems so crazy, and you need a break you just gotta do something else. Well I did that today. I cooked and baked up a storm. I made some yummy looking muffins to share with my grad class tomorrow and I made some Chinese to put in my lunch for tomorrow. I forgot how nice it is to just forget for a while. To be so focused on something that is not school related to just forget about everything that you need to do, all of the pressures sitting on your chest and just be.

I also have found out that graduate school is a time when you learn a lot about yourself. You learn how you deal with stressful situation and how you deal with problems. You also learn a lot about other people's personalities and how we are all so different yet the same. I know this week, today in particular, I have noticed a lot of these things.

I have found that when faced with pressure I like to shut down. My mind needs time to process, I deal with it better after a few hours when I have looked from all the angles, figured out how to deal with it and move on. But then I have found that I am a worrier. I worry about meetings with teachers, and classes, and getting all my GA hours. I just worry. And I know this is not a good thing and in grad school I think an important mindset is to just get along as best you can learning as much as you can and you aren't always going to be the most prepared. I am not ok with this. I know in my mind that I have to be but my body just does not agree. Since I have been in grad school my stomach has not completely settled.. its been 3 weeks people. Hopefully this will happen soon and I will become more comfortable with my situation but FINGERS CROSSED!!

I have also found that, while I like criticism and I know it will make me a better person, I have to talk it out. I have to sit down with another student or friend and be like "this teacher told me this..." and I know that this probably isn't the best approach but after I talk it out and say what the teacher said to me to another person it clicks. And usually what I first took to be mean or critical is usually not. So my advise to myself tonight is to wait to judge, to sit and really think out people's responses and their comments and then take some time to self evaluate (or group evaluate) before leaving with negative feeling.

Today was a down-y post and I apologize hopefully my next one will be more upbeat!!



“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Matthew 7:1-5 


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